We all know the internet is a series of tubes but sometimes I wonder if it’s not just a series of Alex Jones rants.
If you don’t know who Alex Jones is then you must be new to the internet.
Since the dawn of the internets (btw that’s how we Elders of the Internet spell it), Alex Jones has been relentlessly bullhorning awesome conspiracy theories, infiltrating secret societies and exposing the globalist agenda, all the while being inhumanly loud and angry. This man’s resistance to death from a heart attack, is worth a conspiracy theory in and of itself. His mostly freestyled rants air on more than 70 AM, FM, and shortwave radio stations across the United States and the Internets. So he’s reaching millions of minds. But that’s only because his technique is impeccable. It’s almost like he falls into some sort of weird trance, where he’s able to weave conspiracy plots out of whatever his short-term memory recalls with random paranoia, into one beautifully demented Persian carpet of doom.
If conspiracy theories were an art form this man would be Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Donatello and all the other teenage mutant ninja renaissance men rolled into one. What’s more, beneath all the paranoia and insanity, there is a glimmer of truth. Not with the details of course, but with general intuition that there something very rotten at the core of the political and economic system that runs our planet.
One of his finest creations, besides his rant on DMT and his appearances on live television, is this Justin Bieber rant (it’s pronounced Biebler, it turns out). You may cringe but it’s so worth your time. Trust me I’m a doctor.